Wanting More

The last couple of weeks have been difficult as my mundane life seems to be crumbling under my feet. I fear the next step will be the weak spot that will make everything collapse, yet moving forward is the only way out, for staying in one spot will surely bring my downfall.

Because of this my spirituality has begun to take a backseat. I still do my daily prayers but have done nothing more to reach out. Although my room is in the middle of some serious cleaning to make room for the ancestors and forgotten dead shrines. But I want more. Something’s missing. What else can I do besides prayer and meditation? This question has been on my mind even prior to shit hitting the fan in my mundane life. I feel like the answer is so simple yet just out of my grasp.

I’ve been working on divination techniques, seeing if that is what is missing. Divination has always interested me and it’d be nice to have another way to communicate with the Divine. Recently I’ve tried my hand at pendulum divination. And it has not gone well. Maybe I’m not doing it correctly but the damn thing refuses to cooperate. I’m thinking of moving on but I don’t know what to. I have no desire to do Tarot. The urge has never been there, even in my fluffier days and everybody was doing it. Tarot just holds no interest for me. Runes… I’m going to mainly glaze over right now because they will be getting their own post later. There’s like a million different divination techniques out there but I can’t seem to find any that either A) interest me, or B) are actually plausible for me to do. Or maybe divination isn’t what I’m looking for right now. We’ll see.

I apologize that this post is a little lacking. I spent like an hour staring at the screen thinking “What the hell am I trying to say?” Hopefully the next post will be a bit more fleshed out.


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